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 | Estimated Number of Printed Pages: 10 TOPICS COVERED: They're such a close-knit family. He's so distant from us. She's drifting further away. They're inseparable.
One of the most surprising things I found when I was researching Why Do I Love These People? is that it isn't just a metaphor: distance really is the issue for so many of us. For some, it's overcoming miles. For others, it's years. And for more than a few, it's getting a little more distance that is the answer.
So, let's talk a little about the importance of "the Family," but what I really want to focus on here is, "How important is your family in your life?" When was the last time you tried to reach out and touch someone in your family? Or, and I hate to sound like a nudge, but when was the last time you called your mom or dad because you wanted to, not because you felt you had to? Saw your grandchild? Had lunch with your brother?
Actually, in an era when the family is supposed to be in decline, when we're all scattered hither and yon, you'll probably be both happily surprised and disheartened to find out just how close – and distant – we really are.
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 | MEMOS ON RELATED INFORMATION: Family Roles and Responsibilities, Multiple Generation / Extended Family Households, Aging, Caregivers in the Workforce, Fathers and Sons, Grandparents, Children, Child care, Family Structures, Family as a Social Institution, Families in Decline? Links to Sources for this material are available below. Please also see The Factbook Sources page for further information regarding Factbook sources and their availability.
PAGE INDEX:
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 | of Americans believe that family is the most important factor in achieving personal happiness. 1. 60 percent
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 | of Japanese believe that family is the most important factor in achieving personal happiness. 2. 60 percent
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 | of Israelis believe that to be childless is to lead an "empty life." 3. The Key to a Child's Happiness –
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 | a two-parent family, according to 81.3 percent of Iranians. 4.
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 | "As a rule, in Italy the family is firmly at centre stage. The use of private services to assist with housework and care does not show any particular signs of change as compared to the past. Care of the house, children and elderly continue to be almost exclusively women’s responsibility. The differences with respect to the other European countries emerge clearly from a recent Eurobarometer survey." 5.
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 | "The importance of the family has never been questioned in Germany. However, the appreciation of the work involved in raising a family and the importance of families as an investment into the future only became focal issues in the course of the discussion on the potential labour shortage. Family associations and those representing families feel some uneasiness over the fact that the family only received the recognition it deserves by virtue of its role in the production process–thus a back-door entry at best, without any recognition in its own right. However, the current acknowledgement of the family’s importance is indeed noteworthy. It constitutes a favourable prerequisite for creating a good and lasting basis for children, women and families–and for not blocking the way into a future that must offer children and adolescents stable conditions for growing up." 6.
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 | "The geography of families in the central and northern parts of Europe and the communities in North America are characterized by relatively weak family ties. In contrast, families from the Mediterranean region possess stronger family bonds, as evidenced by the care they render to aged or weak members of society. There are strong evidences which indicate that these differences have extensive historical causes, which may likely have characterized European families for several centuries." 7.
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 | "In weak-family areas, the value attributed to the individual and to individualism tends to predominate. Young adults leave home, encouraged by their parents, so as to acquire the experiences they need to handle life as autonomous individuals. Leaving home at an early age is considered an important part of their education. Where the strong family flourishes, the familial group more than the individual tends to predominate in the socialization of the young. In these contexts, the family is seen as defending its members against the difficulties imposed by social and economic realities. A child receives support and protection until he or she leaves home for good, normally for marriage, and even later." 8.
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 | of American adult children describe their relationships with their mothers as "very close." 10. 57.0 percent
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 | of American adult children describe their relationships with their fathers as "very close." 11. 31 percent
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 | – one in three – of American adult children have a "tight-knit" relationship with their mothers, while just 20 percent have such a close connection with their fathers. 12. 28 percent
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 | of American adult children have a sociable relationship with their mothers – where they have frequent contact because of their emotional connection and geographic proximity. 23 percent have this kind of a relationship with their fathers. 13. 19 percent
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 | of American adult children have an "intimate but distant" relationship with their mothers and 14 percent have this relationship with their fathers.. These children agree with their parents on most subjects, have a strong emotional tie – but they don't live near them and they don't have much regular contact with their mothers. 14. Seven percent
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 | of American adult children have "detached" relationship with their mothers: they don't see them, don't contact them, have little if any emotional connection. 15. That's the least common relationship between the children and their mothers, but . . . unfortunately . . . 27 percent
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 | of American adult children have "detached" relationship with their fathers – making that the most common type of relationship between adult-children and their fathers. 16. Guilt.
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 | 16 percent of American adult children have an "obligatory" relationship with their parents – both their mothers and fathers. These children don't agree with their parents on most subjects, and they don't have close emotional ties. But they live near by so they feel have to spend time with their parents and to help if they're needed. And actually, more of them are providing assistance to their parents (30 percent) than those with even closer emotional relationships. 17. 69.4 percent
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 | of American adults contact their mothers at least once a week. 18. 58.6 percent
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 | of American adults contact their fathers at least once a week. 19. 58.9 percent
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 | of American adults live within an hour from their mothers. 54.9 percent live within an hour's distance from their fathers. 20. 54.9 percent
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 | of American adults live within an hour's distance from their fathers. 21. 58 percent
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 | of Italian men call their mother every day. 22. 65 percent
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 | of Italian women call their mother every day. 23. 43 percent
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 | of all Italian married couples under 65 years old live within one kilometer of either the husband's or wife's parents. 24. One-half
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 | of Czech newlywed couples live within the same city or town as their parents – an average distance being about 30 minutes apart. 25. 25 percent
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 | of Chinese parents have daily contact with their adult children. 80 percent see them on a weekly basis, at least. 26. "A distance that keeps a soup warm."
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 | a Chinese proverb explaining the maximum distance children should move away from their parents. 27. 65 percent
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 | of Chinese newlyweds rural areas live with the husband's parents. For urban couples, it's about half that: 32 percent. And they'll remain there until something – a change in employment, a death, etc. – happens that forces a change. 28. 48 percent
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 | of Chinese adult children live within the same district – a 20 minute walk – from their parents. Nine percent live in the same neighborhood – a three-minute walk. 29.
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 | "In [Asian] traditional societies, the close proximity to kin was considered a valuable feature of one’s home both in terms of physical and economic security. Close proximity to kin was often implemented by the sharing of the same physical compound or the same house by members of the extended family. As societies become economically and socially more diverse, heads of nuclear families within the extended family earn a living in a wider variety of occupations and locations. This process together with changes in the value of privacy, authority and hierarchy within the family, have led to the setting up of independent homes by nuclear and three-generation families thus changing the composition of domestic households everywhere." 30. 87 percent
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 | Austrian grandparents describe their relationship with their grandchildren as either "very close" or "quite close." 31. Mostly good to very good
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 | How both Austrian children and their parents rate their parent-child relationship. But the parents seem to rate that relationship more favorable than their kids do. 32. It's not a sense of obligation, exactly, it seems to be more paying the Piper, but in a good way . . . sorta . . . .
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 | In Austria, parents who spent a lot of time with their children when they were young, are much more likely to have those now adult children spend a lot of time with them when they are infirmed – compared those parents who spent less time raising their children. And for parents who didn't spend that much time with their children when they were young – well, only 27 percent of them can expect anything more than just a little help from their children now. At least 54 percent of the parents closer to their kids can expect more than that. 33. 64 percent
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 | of elderly in Austria live with or near by their children. 34. Nearly 90 percent
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 | of Germans aged 18–55 who live within less than one hour’s travel time from two, three- or four-generations of their family. 35. 30 percent
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 | of Germans who live less than 15 minutes distance between three-generations. 36. Just one percent
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 | of U.K. households are three-generation households in the UK. As of 2001 – an estimated 1 percent of all households in spring 2001. However, research shows that links between the generations remain important, even when families do not actually share the same home. For example, a study which compared data from the International Social Survey Programme in 1986, 1995 and 2001, found that although individuals now have most regular contact with their immediate family, they still keep in regular touch with wider family members. 37. About 20 percent
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 | Of American fathers who don't live with their children, age zero to 18, about 20 percent never see, call or write to their children even once in the course of a year. 38. About 15 percent
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 | Of American mothers who don't live with their children, age zero to 18, about 15 percent never see their children in the course of a year, while 17 percent don't call or write to their children. 39. About 16 percent
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 | Of American fathers who don't live with their children, age zero to 18, about 16 percent see their children several times each week. 20 percent call or write to their children several times a week. 40. About 29 percent
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 | Of American mothers who don't live with their children, age zero to 18, about 29 percent see their children several times each week, while about 30 percent call or write to their children several times a week. 41. 471 miles
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 | The mean amount of distance between American parents and the children they don't live with. But there's quite a difference between the distance between absent fathers – 424 miles – and absent mothers – 694 miles. 42. 10.8 years old
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 | The mean age of U.S. children not living with their parents. 43. 6.9 years
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 | The mean number years that a nonresident U.S. father has not been living with his children. 44. 3.8 years
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 | The mean number years that a nonresident U.S. mother has not been living with her children. 45. _____________________________________________________
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 | 1. Will Lester, "Family Comes First in U.S., Japan," Associated Press (July 24, 2005).
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 | 2. Will Lester, "Family Comes First in U.S., Japan," Associated Press (July 24, 2005).
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 | 35. Lynne Chisholm, Antonio de Lillo, Carmen Leccardi and Rudolf Richter (eds), Family Forms and the Young Generation in Europe, Report on the Annual Seminar 2001, Milan, Italy, 20–22 September 2001, Austrian Institute for Family Studies, European Observatory on the Social Situation, Demography and Family (2001), p. 50. Archived at: http://europa.eu.int/comm/employment_social/eoss/downloads/milan_report_2001_en.pdf
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 | 36. Lynne Chisholm, Antonio de Lillo, Carmen Leccardi and Rudolf Richter (eds), Family Forms and the Young Generation in Europe, Report on the Annual Seminar 2001, Milan, Italy, 20–22 September 2001, Austrian Institute for Family Studies, European Observatory on the Social Situation, Demography and Family (2001), p. 50. Archived at: http://europa.eu.int/comm/employment_social/eoss/downloads/milan_report_2001_en.pdf
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