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Asia / Pacific Rim (Part Two)
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| While arranged marriages are no longer common in Hong Kong, the belief there is still that the purpose of marriage is never to unite two individuals, but to continue the husband's family lineage, and to "unite two surnames" – meaning unite two family lineages. 8.
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I will get married even if I'm not in love –
What 76 percent of students in India – where arranged marriages are still common – said in a 1995 survey. 10.
Two-Thirds
Number of surveyed Japanese-American women and Chinese-American single women who explained that their refusal to get married was in large part due to the fact that their parents had gotten married because of familial responsibilities and obligations, rather than on love. 11.
"I don't":
There were four reasons why surveyed Chinese-American and Japanese-American women were not married: their parents's marriage was not love based, their status as elder daughters who had to care for their family, their educational goals, and their belief that there wasn't anyone appropriate to marry. 13.
A successful marriage, with many sons
The goal for most Afghan women . . . and Afghan men. 17.
In South-Eastern and Eastern Asia, marriage has been almost universal.
In Malay, until about three decades ago, over 50 percent of the Muslin women there were married before they were 18, and over 99 percent of them were married by the time they'd reached their 40s. And what were just about only reasons for not getting married? If the women were mentally ill, or physically deformed. 19.
If she doesn't want to marry, it's the parents' fault?
In Korea, a woman's decision to not marry is sometimes seen as her parents' failure: they failed in their duty to her since they haven't found her a mate. 20.
The practice of polygyny has been on the decline around the world – but it does still continue. In Afghanistan, polygyny has been less prevalent – but divorce holds greater stigma than does a second wife, so a problem with a first wife – such as her inability to have children, or the fact that all of her children have been girls – may be a reason for an Afghani man to take another wife. 21.
WHO'S THE LUCKY GUY (GIRL)?
Marry within
Amongst Indian Hindus, caste compatibility and cultural background are still often more important than couple's having similar educational and financial backgrounds. Coming from a different caste or culture is seen as a legitimate reason to disapprove of a match. 28.
Checking out his horoscope –
In India, it isn't a pick-up line in the bar. Astrologists are consulted to see if the couple is a good match. If he is, they'll even pick the day for the ceremony. 29.
I'll tell you what you think of him –
While this has been changing in recent years, even after an initial introduction, a prospective Indian couple still doesn't have much direct interaction before marriage. They may meet a few times, but really any ongoing communication goes on between the couple's parents or go-betweens. 30.
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| Traditional requirements for an Indian Hindu man in order to be considered marriageable:
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He can't be insane.
He can't be impotent.
He can't have a terrible disease. 31.
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| Traditional requirements for an Indian Hindu woman in order to be considered marriageable:
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She cannot have been married before.
If she isn't the oldest, then her older sisters must already be married.
She must be want to bear children for her husband.
She must be physically attractive.
She must be practical, and know how to manage a household.
She must be docile.
She must be eager to satisfy her husband sexually. 32.
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25 percent
of Taiwanese marriages in 2002 were between a Taiwanese man and a bride from elsewhere in Southeast Asia. This influx of brides is largely due to the fact that blue-collar men, farmers, and older veterans of the Chinese Cival War have had a hard time finding brides amongst the increasingly urbanized, educated Taiwanese women. The marriages aren't trouble-free. The foreign brides are more frequently abused, and their children – with mothers lacking knowledge of Taiwanese culture and Chinese language skills, and fathers lacking financial resources – are noticeably behind in their educations. 33.
Don't want to be their mothers –
Three-fourths of Japanese-American women and Chinese-American women surveyed said that dating Asian-American men was difficult, because the men wanted the women to adopt traditional, submissive gender roles, while the women were looking for men who would share child-rearing and household responsibilities. 34.
15 percent
of Indian women who have married, married a blood relative. 42.
CULTURAL TRADITIONS IN MARRIAGE AND WEDDINGS
Television shows and "supermatchmakers" –
are Taiwanese favorites for introducing eligible men and women for possible mates. 51.
So it's supposed to comes out even – but it doesn't.
In Afghanistan, there's a brideprice – the amount that the groom pays the bride's family for his wife – and a dowry. Normally, they're supposed to be equal. But the amount is of huge importance, and the subject of heavy negotiations. And much more than just money is at stake. The bride's social status in the family is set by the value of the brideprice and the dowry. It will determine not only her role, but the quality of the dowry will also be key to the prestige of both the bride's and the groom's family. Just what is in the dowry? Enough clothing – that the bride and her family members have embroidered, woven, and tailored themselves – bedding, and household utensils which are expected to last the couple for the first fifteen years of their marriage. So preparing the daughter's dowry is a fundamental activity in any Afghani home.57.
In India,
"In cities like New Delhi, elaborate processions wind through the streets as the groom heads for the wedding on his white horse. Even families of modest means will incur enormous debts to provide feasts and dowries for their daughters. Many families retain the services of marriage brokers, whose task is to seek out eligible prospective daughters-in-law who meet the qualifications set out by the parents of either bride or groom. Traditional marriage brokers are specialists in genealogy. Many families also refer to marriage ads that are a regular feature of newspapers." 58.
The Year of the Tiger –
is thought by Chinese and Taiwanese to be a year of war, disagreement and disaster. Thus, in 1998, a Year of the Tiger, there was a sharp drop in the number of marriages and babies born in Taiwan. 59.
The Year of the Dragon –
is thought by Chinese and Taiwanese to be a good year for both marriage and family. Thus, in 2000, a Year of the Dragon, Taiwan saw a sharp increase in both. 60.
Giving the Bride Away –
In a traditional Hindu wedding, the beginning of the rite is when the groom comes to the bride's home, asking her father for his bride. When he approves, Brahmin priests read the families' genealogies. 61.
ARRANGED MARRIAGES
At varying times, arranged marriages have occurred pretty much everywhere (except the U.S., but they were present there occasionally), although currently the majority of them seem to be occurring in Asian and Middle Eastern cultures, or within their expat communities. While currently on the decline to about 9.9 percent of marriages in Japan, Japanese have a tradition of arranged marriages. They do, as well, in Thailand and Korea, too. Hmongs, Hasidic Jews and well, maybe some “ultra-Orthodox Jews” (who definitely use marriage brokers, but they would say that it is the introductions, and not the marriages which are arranged).
"Brown (1994) notes that college students in Korea may not be happy with their family being involved in marriage decisions; nevertheless, they do not doubt their legitimacy in making these important life decisions. As Talbani and Hasanali (2000) point out, "The arranged marriage has been a key instrument for economic, social and political stability in South Asian culture. It has been used to make political alliances, solidify economic positions, and secure social stability among large families, tribes, and communities" (p. 625)." 71.
In the Middle East, it is also cultural, not exactly religious, that marriages are arranged. Muslim, Sikh, Buddhist, and yes, Indian Tamil Catholics and other denominations of Christians, do it, too. 72.
85 to 90 percent
of India's marriages are arranged, regardless the couple's religious belief. 73.
Forced Marriages –
are just that – those where one (or more) of the parties has not freely consented to the marriage. They are literally being forced to marry, under the threat of violence to themselves or other loved ones. The difference between “a forced marriage” and just your run of the mill “arranged marriage” is important to remember, and unfortunately, Western news reports sometimes blur their use of the terms. Failing to see the distinction is criticized within the affected communities: Arabic Muslim journalists say such that it smacks of “Islamophobia” and Western media’s sloppiness. 74.
The ability to marry someone of one's choosing, voluntarily, is considered a human right, and as such is included in the United Nations' Universal Declaration on Human Rights and other international treaties. That is significant on two points – first, it underscores the importance of the issue, and also that governments must address forced marriages by migrants from other nations. In the United Kingdom, with its growing Muslim emigrant population, its law enforcement community has taken special efforts to understand the different types of arranged marriages, and how to identify when an arranged marriage is actually a forced marriage. Just being able to identify a forced marriage, however, is not the end of the problem. Getting married is, unless a spouse is underage, generally not illegal, and if the only evidence of a forced marriage is a statement that a parent has ordered a child to marry, it's difficult to prove when a crime has actually been committed. At the same time, those who have been making the threats of violence – and perhaps their threatened victims – are in their home country, making it next to impossible for U.K. officials to investigate the matter. There are, unfortunately, cases with physical violence. But for many forced marriages, it is a domestic violence of the mind. 75.
In Australia, there's been an eight percent decline in the number of people who are married in the past 20 years. Half of that is due to people living with each other, instead of getting married. But the other half just don't have partners at all.
In 34 percent
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| of Australian marriages in 2000, at least one of the spouses had been married previously.
58.2 percent
of Australian divorced men will remarry.
48.7 percent
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| of Australian divorced women will remarry.
106,400
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| marriages in Australia, in 2003 – "an increase of 960 when compared with 2002, and continuing the increase in the number of marriages since the low of 103,130 in 2001."
12 percent
of Australian couples with children aged 0-17, in 2003, who were unmarried. "Couples in both step (56 percent) and blended families (39 percent) were more likely than those in intact families (8 percent) to be in a de facto marriage."
Unmarried Partners
Living together may not mean a greater risk of divorce –
Among Australians, while the divorce rate is higher for those who have lived together before marriage, it may not be that living together is the cause. Instead, the fact is that the population that is likely to live together is largely the same population that's more likely to divorce in any event – those who are less religious, lived in a broken home, etc. And those who are without those characteristics but live together are no more likely to divorce if they live together before marrying. So it isn't the living together that's the determinant of marriage success or failure.
But that doesn't mean everyone's hanging out in the Outback all by himself -
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| Instead, what is happening is that younger Australians form partnered relationships, but a lot of them don't last – so the end result is that more people are single at any given time.
72 percent
of first-time marrieds Australians lived with their spouses before they got married. That's up from just 16 percent in the 1970s, and 43 percent in the 1980s.
73 percent
of Australian couples in 2002 had cohabited prior to marriage. Comparative data from the 1991 Family Survey showed that twenty years ago only 30 percent of couples had lived together prior to marriage.
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| "Premarital cohabitation is clearly being used by many couples in the West to determine compatibility and the potential for co-parenting and marriage. In 1981-82, in a national survey or 18-34 year olds in Australia, "55 percent of females and 62 percent of males agreed that "it is good to have a trial marriage," by which they meant cohabitation (Carmichael, 1985, pp. 98-100)."
0.5 percent
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| In 2001 same-sex de facto married Australians represented 0.5 percent of all persons living as social married.
12 percent
of Australian couples with children aged 0-17, in 2003, who were unmarried. "Couples in both step (56 percent) and blended families (39 percent) were more likely than those in intact families (8 percent) to be in a de facto marriage."
11 percent
of Australian same-sex de facto married households with children present, compared with 42 percent of opposite-sex de facto married and 59 percent of registered married.
Honored husband –
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| Traditional South Korean husbands were considered so superior to their wives that their wives would speak to them in deferential language, while they might speak abusively to their wives. They would even eat better than their wives. And he slept in a separate room, outside of the main house, to symbolize his authority over the family in the larger world.
Never go in the kitchen –
In traditional South Korean families, the men never went into the kitchen: that was their wives' domain. And that idea has still carries a lot of weight. Even in more progressive families of today, if the man wants even a glass of water, he doesn't get it: his wife does.
Pretty much, it's the law –
In India, traditionally, the elders of the family are the patriarchs, and what they decide is considered infallible. This is weakening somewhat, however, in the modern era.
"4-2-1"
Because of the now decades-old "one-child" policy in China, children may be growing up by themselves, with no siblings or cousins, and end up responsible for the care of anywhere between two to six older couples, and their own children.
65 percent
of Chinese newlyweds rural areas live with the husband's parents. For urban couples, it's about half that: 32 percent. And they'll remain there until something – a change in employment, a death, etc. – happens that forces a change.
"A distance that keeps a soup warm."
a Chinese proverb explaining the maximum distance children should move away from their parents.
48 percent
of Chinese adult children live within the same district – a 20 minute walk – from their parents. Nine percent live in the same neighborhood – a three-minute walk.
25 percent
of Chinese parents have daily contact with their adult children. 80 percent see them on a weekly basis, at least.
In Afghanistan, "Relations between co-wives can be amiable, sister-like and mutually supportive in sharing household chores and in securing favorable attention from the husband, but relations can also be stormy and many men hesitate to take a second wife because of the fierce battles that can erupt. Some co-wives resort to magic to ease household tensions by purchasing a variety of amulets and charms, including dried hoopoe heads and wolf claws which are believed to guarantee loving attention from husbands, peace with mothers-in-law and sweet tempers all around."
Koseki
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| the Japanese term for the family registration, that arose following the legal recognition of the blood line family headed by a father, which was not thrown out after WWII.
"A great variety of family forms have existed historically in Japan, from the matrilocal customs of the Heian elite, which are described in Genji monogatari (Tale of Genji), to the extreme patrilineality of the samurai class in the feudal period."
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| In Japan, "Numerous family forms, through which ran a common belief in the existence of the family-household beyond the life of its current members, coexisted particularly in the countryside. Among the upper classes and wealthier merchant and artisan urban households of the Tokugawa period, the chonin , providing for household continuity, and if possible enriching the household's estate, represented duty to one's ancestors and appreciation toward one's parents."
ie
Japanese term for the system established in the early 20th Century, that requiring registration of the multigenerational household, under the legal authority of a household head. "In establishing the ie system, the government moved the ideology of family in the opposite direction of trends resulting from urbanization and industrialization. The ie system took as its model for the family the Confucian-influenced pattern of the upper classes of the Tokugawa period. Authority and responsibility for all members of the ie lay legally with the household head. Each generation supplied a male and female adult, with a preference for inheritance by the first son and for patrilocal marriage. When possible, daughters were expected to marry out, and younger sons were expected to establish their own households. Women could not legally own or control property or select spouses. The ie system thus artificially restricted the development of individualism, individual rights, women's rights, and the nuclearization of the family. It formalized patriarchy and emphasized lineal and instrumental, rather than conjugal and emotional ties, within the family."
Post-WWII / Allied Occupation Changes the Japanese Family
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| "After World War II, the Allied occupation forces established a new [Japanese] family ideology based on equal rights for women, equal inheritance by all children, and free choice of spouse and career. From the late 1960s, most marriages in Japan have been based on the mutual attraction of the couple and not the arrangement by the parents. Moreover, arranged marriages might begin with an introduction by a relative or family friend, but actual negotiations do not begin until all parties, including the bride and groom, are satisfied with the relationship."
"Under the [Japanese] ie system, only a minority of households included three generations at a time because nonsuccessor sons (those who were not heirs) often set up their own household. From 1970 to 1983, the proportion of three-generation households fell from 19 percent to 15 percent of all households, while two generation households consisting of a couple and their unmarried children increased only slightly, from 41 percent to 42 percent of all households. The greatest change has been the increase in couple-only households and in elderly single-person households."
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| "[Japanese] Public opinion surveys in the late 1980s seemed to confirm the statistical movement away from the three-generation ie family model. Half of the respondents did not think that the first son had a special role to play in the family, and nearly two-thirds rejected the need for adoption of a son in order to continue the family. Other changes, such as an increase in filial violence and school refusal, suggest a breakdown of strong family authority."
"Strong gender roles remained the cornerstone of [Japanese mid-1990s] family responsibilities. Most survey respondents said that family life should emphasize parent-child ties over husband-wife relations. Nearly 80 percent of respondents in a 1986 government survey believed that the ancestral home and family grave should be carefully kept and handed on to one's children. More than 60 percent thought it best for elderly parents to live with one of their children."
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| "This sense of [Japanese mid-1990s] family as a unit that continues through time is stronger among people who have a livelihood to pass down, such as farmers, merchants, owners of small companies, and physicians, than among urban salary and wage earners. Anthropologist Jane M. Bachnik noted the continued emphasis on continuity in the rural families she studied. Uchi (here, the contemporary family) were considered the living members of an ie , which had no formal existence. Yet, in each generation, there occurred a sorting of members into permanent and temporary members, defining different levels of uchi."
"In many urban salaryman [Japanese mid-1990s] families, the husband may commute to work and return late, having little time with his children except for Sundays, a favorite day for family outings. The wife might be a "professional housewife," with nearly total responsibility for raising children, ensuring their careers and marriages, running the household, and managing the family budget. She also has primary responsibility for maintaining social relations with the wider circles of relatives, neighbors, and acquaintances and for managing the family's reputation. Her social life remains separate from that of her husband. It is increasingly likely that in addition to these family responsibilities, she may also have a part-time job or participate in adult education or other community activities. The closest emotional ties within such families are between the mother and children."
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| "In other [Japanese mid-1990s] families, particularly among the self-employed, husband and wife work side by side in a family business. Although gender-based roles are clear cut, they might not be as rigidly distinct as in a household where work and family are more separated. In such families, fathers are more involved in their children's development because they have more opportunity for interacting with them."
"As [Japanese] women worked outside of the home with increasing frequency beginning in the 1970s, there was pressure on their husbands to take on more responsibility for housework and child care. Farm families, who depend on nonfarm employment for most of their income, are also developing patterns of interaction different from those of previous generations."
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| "In [Asian] traditional societies, the close proximity to kin was considered a valuable feature of one’s home both in terms of physical and economic security. Close proximity to kin was often implemented by the sharing of the same physical compound or the same house by members of the extended family. As societies become economically and socially more diverse, heads of nuclear families within the extended family earn a living in a wider variety of occupations and locations. This process together with changes in the value of privacy, authority and hierarchy within the family, have led to the setting up of independent homes by nuclear and three-generation families thus changing the composition of domestic households everywhere."
"Three sub-themes that arose were based on Filipino cultural beliefs and norms namely (a) Pakikisama--family unity and closeness (b) Utang na loob--mutual reciprocity "the give and take" and obligation in relationships, and (c) authoritarianism (being responsible role models, elders are highly valued, and respect for authority figures)."
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| "Filipino Immigrants to the U.S. have the highest percentage (27 percent) of Asian American grandparents who are living with their own grandchildren under 18 years or age and who are responsible for their grandchildren (28 percent). When the members of the Filipino nuclear family or extended family migrate to the U.S., they usually live together because the family is a major source of emotional, moral, and economic support. Many elders become surrogate parents and homemakers for their grandchildren when both parents are employed). The family collectively provides a unique system of care for family members from birth to end of life.. Filipinos strongly identify with their nuclear and extended family and the needs and welfare of the family come before those of the individual."
"Under the influence of Confucianism, family is accorded the central place in Chinese society. Confucian's definition of the five basic human relationships in the classic Book of Rites are: ruler-minister, father-son, elder brother-younger brother, husband-wife, and friend-friend. Of these five, three are familial relationships with clear generation, age, and gender hierarchy prescribed (Pimentel, 1994)."
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| "When the members of the Filipino nuclear family or extended family migrate to the U.S., they usually live together because the family is a major source of emotional, moral, and economic support. Many elders become surrogate parents and homemakers for their grandchildren when both parents are employed). The family collectively provides a unique system of care for family members from birth to end of life.. Filipinos strongly identify with their nuclear and extended family and the needs and welfare of the family come before those of the individual."
"Filipino American grandparents view the grandparenting caregiving role as a normative process rather than a burden. Families take on responsibilities as result of their cultural beliefs and norms such as pakikisama, utang na loob, and authoritarianism."
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| "In both Hindu and Confucian traditions, practiced throughout Asia, only sons can pray for and release the souls of dead parents, and only males can perform birth, death, and marriage rituals."
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| In China, "The active influence of such Western romantic notions has been evident throughout the latter half of the 20th century. The conception of marriage in Hong Kong is now moving from a traditional, patriarchal, utilitarian mode to a modern, egalitarian, companionate one."
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| "The present findings show that although [Chinese] male adolescents and female adolescents did not perceive paternal parenting characteristics differently, the female adolescents perceived their mothers as more demanding but less harsh than their fathers. The observed differences were greater than some reported relatively "small" gender differences (e.g., Dornbusch et al., 1987)."
"30 percent of Chinese women surveyed in 1990 thought that men are born to be more important than women, and 33 percent agreed that women should hold back so that they are not more successful than their husbands."
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| "Generally speaking, the status of women inside the family is consistent with their status outside the family. As Whyte and Parish (1984) and Robinson (1985) pointed out, despite the government's unremitting drive toward gender parity after 1949, gender inequality continues in urban Chinese families. This tendency has long been referred to as patriarchal socialism (Stacey, 1983). However, if changes in gender attitudes through early childhood socialization under the communist rule can be translated into behavior changes, a somewhat egalitarian division of household labor in urban Chinese families should be expected, particularly in comparison with capitalist America. This is to say that although husbands may continue to endorse the traditional division of domestic labor, they may have actually and perhaps slowly started to extend their help in the kitchen and get more involved in the "female's chores." It is also entirely possible, though by no means certain, that the overall shift in wives' share of the load can be a function of women's role in the labor force, therefore, resulting in less time available for family obligations."
"For whatever reasons, be it the diffusion of the egalitarian ideology advocated by the government or the force of modernization, the gap between husbands and wives in shouldering domestic chores begins to narrow in urban China."
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| " . . . family authority pattern is primarily patriarchal, which characterizes the husband as a breadwinner and the wife as a caregiver. As can be seen, this holds true in both urban America and urban China, except the fact that the Chinese husbands outperformed their American counterparts in "helping out." In short, gender inequality rather than egalitarianism is the characterization of the relationship between husbands and wives in the division of household labor. Moreover, in the face of dramatic social change, men's power in making family decisions has remained at a substantial, if not constant, level. Once again, contrary to Goode's claim, the macro-level shifts do not seem to be able to overcome men's resistance, and a convergence toward egalitarianism has yet to come into being."
". . . neither capitalist America nor socialist China had shown real signs of a significant transformation from patriarchal to gender-egalitarian power relationships in the past fifty years. The wife's recent achievement in economic independence via labor force participation does not easily translate into a gender-balanced power structure in the conjugal family. In the case of Detroit, we do not see an expected steady decline in husbands' power since the 1960s' cohorts where women begun to increasingly enter into the labor force. In the case of China, the finding is consistent with previous studies, which revealed that in urban Chinese families husbands tend to dominate the decision-making process."
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| "To the contrary, the curve across historical generations seems to suggest that, in urban America husbands do not contribute much to "female duties" that have been traditionally assigned to wives. What is more discouraging is that after the wife's employment status is controlled, the slope remains virtually unchanged (the result is not shown here). This leads us to argue that, in contemporary America married women may increasingly participate in the labor force, their husbands, however, do not do much more around the house than do husbands of nonemployed wives (Blumberg and Coleman, 1989)."
"To the extent that [American] husbands do contribute to housework (particularly washing dishes), their efforts are often considered "helping out" and their wives typically take primary responsibility to ensure that the task is carried out (Hochschild, 1989). In agreement with these previous studies, this research finds that gender inequality persists in how household labor is routinely divided in urban American families."
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| " For whatever reasons, be it the diffusion of the egalitarian ideology advocated by the government or the force of modernization, the gap between husbands and wives in shouldering domestic chores begins to narrow in urban China."
". . . neither capitalist America nor socialist China had shown real signs of a significant transformation from patriarchal to gender-egalitarian power relationships in the past fifty years. The wife's recent achievement in economic independence via labor force participation does not easily translate into a gender-balanced power structure in the conjugal family. In the case of Detroit, we do not see an expected steady decline in husbands' power since the 1960s' cohorts where women begun to increasingly enter into the labor force. In the case of China, the finding is consistent with previous studies, which revealed that in urban Chinese families husbands tend to dominate the decision-making process."
"the customs of the upper-caste Oriya Hindus as they are described by anthropologist Usha Menon.(114) The moral order advanced by the Hindu religion is one that cherishes self-control, self-refinement, and duty to the family. Most Hindus, both men and women, would find the Western emphasis on the primacy of the individual immoral and futile because they believe that the self does not exist apart from its connections with others.(115) Hindus do not think of the person as indivisible and bounded, but as divisible, "continually changing and being reconstituted by the givings and receivings he or she engages in."(116) Hindus transform themselves through daily practices and rituals of refinement. Women are especially permeable because they menstruate and reproduce, and as a result they are required to be more concerned than men about their connections with others, their daily practices, and their rituals of refinement. To regulate their exchanges with others, Oriya Hindu women must seclude themselves within family compounds, have virtually no contact with strangers, and meticulously observe prescribed daily practices.(117)"
Oriya Hindu women are usually literate in the local language, but not necessarily schooled. They have arranged marriages, spend their entire life within the compounds of their natal and conjugal extended households, and have only minimal contact with the outside world.(118) Both Oriya men and women regard the domestic sphere as the most important sphere of human action.(119) The senior women within an extended household control and manage all household affairs, including the household finances and expenses. Thus, according to Menon, it would not be correct to cast men as oppressors and women as victims, but rather to speak of the more senior family members controlling the activities of the more junior.(120) Unlike men, Oriya Hindu women do not inherit property.(121)
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| Married women are believed to embody the family's fund of auspiciousness and its future. If the woman is irresponsible in the management of the family resources or is promiscuous, then the family will be mined. Oriya Hindus insist that the control over greed and lust must come from within. This can only be achieved through the surrender of one's sense of self and service to others. These are the two basic duties of married women. Thus, in order to enable them to achieve self-control, married women are expected to cook, serve food, fast, eat last, eat leftovers, and selflessly take care of the physical as well as the emotional needs of the members of the extended family.(122)
According to Menon, though junior women find the first years in the conjugal home -- to which they are obliged to move after their arranged marriage -- difficult, they ascribe their difficulties to their own failure to open themselves completely in order to assimilate and be remade into the substance of their conjugal family. Further, all women understand that even the most junior women can start acquiring power to make decisions for themselves and later for the family by building relationships and exerting influence through cooking, serving, and taking care of others.(123) Junior women do not complain about their situation, both because they know that such complaints would be futile and would jeopardize their efforts to gain more power and position by assimilating into the family, and because they know that someday they will occupy the positions of power as senior women in the family.(124)
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| Menon concludes that the Oriya Hindu women lead "fairly fulfilling, contented lives" for several reasons.(125) First, their identification with the Goddess Devi, who embodies the energy and power of the universe, is a source of substantial self-worth. Second, Oriya Hindu women are universally regarded as being central to the material and spiritual welfare of their families.(126) Third, within a few years of marriage, they identify themselves completely with the conjugal family and their sense of self emerges from their involvement with it.(127)
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| This account of the lives of Oriya Hindu women demonstrates beautifully how religion and culture make a selective use of the ideals of selflessness and self-sacrifice in order to subjugate women, while at the same time persuading them that they are leading good and fulfilling lives. Such an account also explains why Oriya Hindu men are convinced that they are not subjugating the women. First, like the women, the men are brought up to believe that the functions women fulfill and their highly-restricted existence reflect their special powers and not their weakness.(128) Second, the enormous benefits men get from living in a moral order of this kind are bound to quench any doubts about its legitimacy that they might entertain. Third, as the moral order under which the group exists is so all-encompassing, as well as uncompromising, that individual men do not feel they have any say in its shaping. Feeling they are as bound by the moral order as the women are and that they are prevented from changing it, men do not feel any responsibility and therefore no guilt for its continuing existence. . . .
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Guo + Jia
The Chinese word for "nation" consists of the combination of two other characters: "guo" – country – and "jia" – family. 8.
It doesn't just take a village – it is one –
Up until the mid-1800s, a Japanese family unit was considered those who worked together in a single village. 9.
ie
In 1889, Japanese law defined a family to be based on blood lineage, with a father as head of the household, passing on down to his eldest son. Since the determining factor was paternal blood relations, that included polygamous families: all children who had the same father were considered to be in the same family. 10.
uchi:
The contemporary Japanese term for family, following post-World War II changes in the nation's laws and society. It may refer to a nuclear family of parents and unmarried children, but it can also mean a household as a unit of production or consumption. 11.
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More than 90 percent
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| of Chinese people lived in rural areas at the turn of the Twentieth Century.
More than 60 percent
of Chinese people lived in rural areas at the turn of the Twentieth-First Century.
78.8 percent
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| of Japanese living in urban areas in 2000, just a slight increase from 77.4 percent in 1990.
48.8 percent
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| of Filipinos living in urban areas in 2000, an increase from 58.6 percent in 1990.
"Filipinos are generally acquainted with internal migration from rural villages to cities and on to Metropolitan Manila. But the move of one or more breadwinners to a job in another country posses more serious challenges to the cohesion of married couples, husband-wife communication, parent-child bonding, parental authority and adolescent behaviour, among other aspects. On the positive side, the migrant worker's network of support is mobilized on a reciprocal basis: the worker sends money regularly to his/her family and kin while the extended kin provide support to the worker's spouse, now de facto a single parent, and children left behind."
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| Effects on South Asian Families Due to Migration to Urban Areas
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| – more possibility for egalitarian and intimate relationships between spouses, because the couple is away from the (husband’s) mother-in-law;
– changing family structure from extended, multigenerational family system to nuclear one;
– smaller family size
– opportunity to enter work-force (and therefore increasing women’s independence).
–Adoption of a “fast food culture” (diet changes, usually more food, but maybe worse for you)
– Increased stress from conflict between demands of family and work
– Living in unhealthy housing (congestion, pollution, slum/shanty conditions)
– creation of “a new urban middle class” that has increased exposure to globalization, consumerism, and information technology.
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28 percent
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| of Australians were born overseas.
Over 7 million –
South Koreans live outside of their nation of origin. Of these, half left home after 1965.
69 percent
of all Asians in the U.S. are foreign born, compared to the total U.S. population of 11.1 percent.
43 percent
of the Asian population in the U.S. entered the country between the years 1990 to 2000.
"For instance, in 1995, some 19,000 Filipino female migrants worked in Italy, as opposed to only 8,700 Filipino men. This applies, for instance, to Yugoslav female migrants living in The Netherlands. In 1997, some 22,900 female migrants lived there, with an almost equal number of 23,800 male migrants."
During the 1950s and 1960s, "The demand for cheap labor triggered a mass migration movement to the respective former ‘mother countries’. Migrants from former colonies willing to migrate to Europe had several advantages over people from other regions: most of them were already able to speak the language of the host country and also received preferential treatment when it came to obtaining a residence permit or even citizenship. These conditions made it easier for many groups: Indians and Pakistanis, among others, who migrated to Great Britain, Moroccans and Algerians who moved to France; and people from Surinam who migrated to The Netherlands."
43 percent
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| of the Asian population in the U.S. entered the country from 1990 to 2000.
In China, "Beginning in the mid 80s and peaking in the early 90s, most manufacturing industries in Hong Kong moved their factories to the nearby southern part of China where the cost of production is much lower especially in labor and venue. By the mid 1990s, about 25,000 Hong Kong factories have moved (Jessop & Ngai, 2000). In addition, many large enterprises began to establish offices in major Chinese cities to grab a share of this vast market. Thus, large numbers of employers and employees in Hong Kong are stationed in China for extended periods of time. Most of these individuals are men. They usually do not bring their families with them due to a much lower living standard in most factory sites in Southern China and a totally different social system, including education. These male workers usually return to Hong Kong only during weekends, creating many opportunities for these men to engage in extra-marital affairs in Mainland China."
"Many single men in Hong Kong, especially those from the lower socioeconomic stratum, often older, who formerly were not able to find a mate in Hong Kong, are able to secure one in China (Fung & Hung, 1998). The arrangement generally is that the man will go to China to meet the bride candidate, usually much younger and often from families in economic hardship. When both parties consent, they will get married in China. Because of the immigration quota, the bride has to wait for her turn to enter Hong Kong, which often takes years. In the mean time, the man will travel periodically to China to visit his wife and children and, of course, contribute financially. When the wife eventually comes to Hong Kong, the marriage is sometimes strained. While the wife will experience difficulty adjusting to a new environment and social system, the husband also must adjust to the new arrangement and added responsibilities. In addition, given the much higher cost of living in Hong Kong than in the Mainland--particularly in housing--many families experience great economic hardship."
"Between 1800 and 1960, more than 60 million people emigrated from Europe to another continent. About 40 million people left for North America; and another 20 million, to South America, South Africa, Australia, New Zealand or the Asian parts of Russia."
Approximately 2-3 years
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| The duration of stay by South Asian migrants in Middle East countries "with the opportunity for home leave on completion of one year’s work. The workers long absences from their households - especially in the case of married persons with young children - make it necessary for them to seek the assistance of parents or other siblings to attend to the needs of the young children and to assist the spouse left behind. When an immediate family member is not available, the assistance of distant relatives is sought."
550,000
Estimated number of Sri Lankan workers who were working abroad in 2003.
75 percent
of the labor force that had migrated from Sri Lanka in 2003 was female.
80 percent
of 224 Sri Lankan children who had left behind by their emigrating mothers were under 15, according to a survey.
Half a million
"estimated number of Pakistani workers who were reported to have left, as labor migrants, from 1984-1989. only a couple of hundred were women, mostly nurses and domestic workers."
A couple hundred
"the number of the half million Pakistani labor migrants, from 1984-1989, who were women (mostly nurses and domestic workers)"
The U.K., the USA, Canada, Australia, New Zealand
|
|
|
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| "destinations for South Asians who are professionally and technically qualified persons."
Approximately 2-3 years
"The duration of stay by South Asian migrants in Middle East countries] with the opportunity for home leave on completion of one year’s work. The workers long absences from their households - especially in the case of married persons with young children - make it necessary for them to seek the assistance of parents or other siblings to attend to the needs of the young children and to assist the spouse left behind. When an immediate family member is not available, the assistance of distant relatives is sought."
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| "In most of the host countries [South Asian] female migrants are housemaids and the status of females is lower than that of males. The decision to migrate is usually purely economic, to earn some money for the household."
49
Number of “migration related adverse incidents” effecting families in Sri Lanka in a three month period in 1995. These included thirteen suicides and deaths of migrants or members of the family ". . . . Others, such as clandestine love affairs (migrant or spouse) and instances of abandoning the family, were observed.".
Higher
rates of divorce in migrant families in Sri Lanka.
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| Reported Negative Effects of Female-labor Migration in Sri Lanka:
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| – Alcoholism
– Gambling,
– Wasteful Consumption,
– Devaluation of moral values of the women abroad,
– Delay of marriage (until the women leave and then return),
– Transfer of familial responsibilities to elders,
– Age of family household skewed older,
– obliging their wives to repeat migration as a mode of survival,
– husbands of migrant wives do not provide adequate care to their children, and
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|
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| –most husbands engage in extramarital affairs.
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| Reported Negative Effects of Male-labor Migration in Sri Lanka:
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| – Gambling;
– Wasting money;
– Transfer of familial responsibilities to the elders; and
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| – The age of family households | | |
