I'd love to blurb your manuscript or your book. It's one of
the best ways for me to spread my name, and to make a little money. What YOU get is a 100%
genuine blurb, from me, Po Bronson. (So what if I don't actually read your book--who will
know?) It's a win-win situation. I offer three blurb plans to fit your budget.
Cost: $50 flat rate, unless one of my novels makes the New
York Times Bestseller list, in which case the fee automatically (and retroactively)
increases to $80.
"<Your Name>'s <Your Book Title> marks the
debut of an important new voice in contemporary letters."
"<Your Name> is a writer to watch."
Cost: $100 Flat rate. Good for all your works, not just your
books. Magazine articles, personal ads, job resumes, whatever. Buy one for your son,
attach it to his college application essay! BONUS: invest in the Economy Blurb and also
get this additional adverb and punctuation mark at no additional cost, sure to boost the
impact of your economy blurb: "Closely!"
Example: "Dick Miller is a writer to watch
closely!" See how much more enthusiastic that sounds?
Cost: $0.01 (one penny) per unit of initial print run. For
example, if your novel has an initial print run of 20,000 copies, the cost to you of a
Blurb-O-Matic is a mere $200.
Which female author do you like? (check one)
Which male author do you like?
Appropriate emotional reaction to the book:
afraid to sleep alone in the house
renewed vigor for life's small miracles
I assume your book is a page-turner (think about it--what
books can you read *without* turning the pages?) Check appropriate box that best implies
"I didn't put it down."
If Anne Rice ever got it on with Albert Camus, the result would be a writer like Dick
Miller, and a book like "How to Motivate Employees." After reading it, I
called in sick. I couldn't stop crying all day. I hadn't read Dilbert!
Legal Fine Print: The Blurb-O-Matic is not eligible to
residents of Michigan, or any other state shaped like a mitten.